Saturday, December 29, 2007

BIASA SAJA BILA ADA ORANG MATI

WHY TERKEJUT ?



Mengapa Terkejut Dengan Kematian? Mengapa terkejut kematian polan, polan itu. Berfirman Allah SWT yang bermaksud:“Dari Allah kita datang dan kepada-Nya kita akan dikembalikan”

Bukankan setiap yang bernyawa pasti mati telah diberitahu.Berdasarkan pengalaman bukankah ia berlaku, kita kan tahu. Bahkan kematian berlaku setiap waktu. Setiap hari orang berpindah ke Alam Barzakh atau kubur lumrah berlaku. Adakalanya kita juga menghantarkannya ke sana atau ke tempat bersemadinyaJadi, mati keyakinan kita bersama. Cuma sebab-sebabnya tidak sama
Ada orang mati disebabkan sakitnya. Tidak kurang pula orang mati dilanggar kereta.Mati disebabkan jatuh ke laut atau ke dalam sungai pun ada
Mati jatuh daripada pokok berlaku juga. Mati ditanduk kerbau, dilanggar keretapi, dibunuh orang, dihukum gantung biasa aja. Mati itu bermacam-macam cara.Sejuta satu macam caranya.Mati tetap mati, tidak ada kecualinya.Kecuali Zat yang Maha Esa lagi Maha Pencipta. Allah tetap kekal buat selama-lamanya.

Oleh itu mengapa kita terkejut ada kematian.Kita kata: Eh! Tak sangka polan itu mati, semalam ada dengan saya?!.Eh! Polan malam tadi sama-sama makan di restoran dengan saya, tak sangka dia mati?!Janganlah terkejut dengan kematian.Semua orang percaya berdasarkan berita dan pengalaman.Bila terjadi jangan terkejut dan jangan hairan?

Kita sendiri akan mati juga, tunggulah giliran.Apakah kalau kita mati orang hendak terkejut dan hairan?!
Sepatutnya tidak terkejut dan hairan.Kematian itu satu keyakinan dan pengalaman.Sepatutnya dari detik ke detik kita tunggu kematian. Serta bersedia membuat persiapan.

QULLUL-NAFSIN-ZA-IKATULMAUT.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

BANJIR

Semasa pilihanraya kecil Permatang Pasir di Kelantan dulu banjir berlaku di sana . Pembesar2 negara terus ke sana untuk berkempen . Berkampong bersama2 penduduk yang dipindahkan .Dan masing2 menuding jari kepada kerajaan Tok Guru yang tak pandai memerintah. Tak pandai membuat parit dan laluan2 air . Kerajaan kain pelekat . PAS pun kalah,Ibrahim Ali pun turut kecundang. Singa utara cukup garang masa itu , macam boleh membaham seluruh negeri.
Selepas beberapa ketika seluruh negeri Perlis ditenggelami air , Utara Kedah juga sebegitu. Jitra bandar diraja Dr. M juga tenggelam . Lapangan terbang kepala batas juga tenggelam.Sebahagian dari rumah Pask Non kawan ku juga dimasuki air , akibat dari mulut celupar sesetengah orang . Itulah yang kesiannya orang2 yang tidak berdosa juga terpaksa menanggung bencana . Kerana mulut ,kekawan binasa. Selepas itu negeri yang memang terkenal dengan banyak paritnya : parit raja, Parit Sulong dan banyak lagi nama2 paritnya yang aku dah lupa turut ditenggelami air . Sehingga kota tertinggi ; kota Tinggi juga ditenggelami air . Pahang dan Terengganu turut menerima bencana.
Akhir2 ini mulut2 dulu dah jadi membisu,tidak lagi nak menyalahkan orang kain pelekat. dan negeri kain pelekat pun tak seterok mana dilandai banjir. Alhamdulillah mereka dah sedar , itu pun kalau merek sedar . Baru2 ni aku ada dinegeri kain pelekat. Waktu banjir . Berlonggok2 datang bantuan . Demo kata banjir membawa rezeki , kalu tak banjir jangan harap nak holor.
Pengajaran yang ku dapat ialah ; jangan cuba nak mencece orang alim.
Pengajaran yang kedua ialah sekarang ini Allah akan membalas secara tunai segala tingkah-laku kita.
Biarlah Bujang Lapok mencece dengan lagu bujang lapok.....masuk angin,keluar asap.

KEGELABAHAN MENIKAM DIRI BANGSAKU

Aku cedok artikel ini (sebahagian) dari rungutan mereka yang cukup Melayunya.


1. Masyarakat Melayu menuntut agar pengantar bahasa Inggeris untuk pengajaran Matematik dan Sains segera dikembalikan kepada bahasa Melayu. Suara ini datang bukan dari orang biasa malah dari golongan cendikiawan. Malah suara ini diungkapkan dalam perhimpunan parti pemerintah sendiri. Alasan bahawa negara perlu mendidik rakyatnya menguasai ilmu melalui menekankan bahasa Inggeris sudah dihujahkan dengan sangat menyakinkan bahawa hal ini tidak benar. Akan tetapi pihak berkuasa terus menolak tuntutan tersebut dan berbelanja jutaan ringgit untuk melaksanakan dasar yang bercanggah dengan perkara 152 Perlembagaan Persekutuan. Kini natijahnya sudahpun semakin nyata . Kemunduran anak Melayu terutama di sekolah desa akibat tidak dapat mengikuti pelajaran Matematik dan Sains semakin terbukti.


2.Masyarakat Melayu juga menyuarakan kedudukan hartanah Melayu yang kini dihimpit oleh pembangunan. Tanah milik orang Melayu menjadi sasaran pengambilalihan oleh pihak kerajaan bagi pihak pemaju. TRM (Tanah Rizab Melayu) terus mengincup apabila tanah Melayu diambil untuk memberi laluan kepada pembangunan yang menyisehkan bangsa melayu sendiri. Malah banyak TRM yang tidak diganti sedangkan ia suatu keperluan dalam Perlembagaan Persekutuan.


3.Sistem meritokrasi yang telah menghentikan pertimbangan kuota Melayu dalam kursus-kursus kritikal di IPT, kini telah mengakibatkan bilangan pelajar Melayu sudah menurun. Suara beberapa pihak ahli akademik Melayu yang meneliti ujudnya tren yang merugikan bangsa Melayu juga tidak diendahkan oleh pihak berkuasa. Atas nama persaingan sistem ini dipaksakan ke atas orang Melayu walaupun ada cara lain yang boleh dilaksanakan agar orang Melayu tidak terus terpinggir.


4.Masyarakat Melayu juga gusar dengan dasar pemberhentian bantuan per kapita kepada SAR (Sekolah Agama Rakyat) yang diganti dengan pengambilalihan melalui skim Sekolah Bantuan Kerajaan. Akan tetapi kehendak sekolah agama yang mahu berrjalan sendiri terus dinafikan dari bantuan kewangan padahal pelajar yang berada di SAR adalah 100 peratus orang Melayu dan terbukti ada SAR yang cemerlang walaupun diuruskan sendiri oleh pihal lembaga masing-maisng. Kini segala bentuk kemudahan dan bantuan hanya disalurkan kepada sekolah yang berdaftar sebagai sekolah bantuan kerajaan dan menafikan hak ratusan ribu pelajar yang mahu belajar di SAR yang bebas untuk mendapat kemudahan seperti pengecualian yuran peperiksaan , permohonan ke sekolah berasrama penuh dan skim pinjaman buku teks.


5.Sementara itu masyarakat Melayu sangat gusar dengan betapa banyak lesen dan permit hiburan yang dikeluarkan oleh pihak berkuasa sendiri yang mengakibat generasi muda Melayu terjebak dengan acara hiburan tanpa henti semada dalam acara konsert mahupun dalam media massa seperti TV. Sudah berapa banyak aduan dan suara bantahan diungkap untuk pihak kerajaan segera memberhentikan acara-cara konsert dan hiburan yang melampau malah pernah ditergur oleh mufti sendiri. Namun ternyata suara orang Melayu tidak diambil peduli bilamana pemerintah yang mahu sikap liberal diutamakan dari terlalu terikat dengan agama.


6.Bila bangsa Melayu melahirkan suara bantahannya terhadap kumpulan yang biadap terhadap Islam dan institusi Islam di negara ini , orang Melayu dingatkan agar jangan fanatik dan bersikap esktrim. Padahal orang Melayu hanya mahu agar maruah agama dan bangsa tidak dipersenda oleh orang lain. Isu IFC dan Artikel 11 yang cuba diungkit oleh pihak yang tidak mahu Islam menjadi asas penting di negara ini terutama untuk bangsa Melayu dengan biadap mengguna saluran undang-undang untuk menggugat aqidah bangsa Melayu. Akan tetapi pihak berkuasa lebih mahu menjaga perasaan kumpulan mereka berbanding mendengar keresahan bangsa Melayu.


( malahan aku sendiri bimbang melayu akan terus layu )

LET'S SHARE AN EMAIL FROM MY KIRKBYITE FRIEND

Thank you Pak Mud ( Mahmud Hassan) , let my blog friends share your story.




On top of that ... still want to send 2 "fan cheong" to bulan. Untuk apa ya ???? minum teh tarik ke ??
Harga minyak sepanjang zaman.. (dalam masa 16 tahun - sejak 1990 )sebelum 90 - RM 0.89tahun 1990 - RM 1.10 (kenaikan RM 0.21 )01/10/2000 - RM 1.20 (kenaikan RM 0.10)20/10/2001 - RM 1.30 (kenaikan RM 0.10)01/05/2002 - RM 1.32 (kenaikan RM 0.02)31/10/2002 - RM 1.33 (kenaikan RM 0.01)01/03/2003 - RM 1.35 (kenaikan RM 0.02 )01/05/2004 - RM 1.37 (kenaikan RM 0.02)01/10/2004 - RM 1.42 (kenaikan RM 0.05)05/05/2005 - RM 1.52 (kenaikan RM 0.10)31/07/2005 - RM 1.62 (kenaikan RM 0.10)28/02/2006 - RM 1.92 (kenaikan RM 0.30)Nota : (ayat - ayat standard)1. Kenaikan minyak masih rendah berbanding mana2 pun negara ASEAN.2. Kerajaan akan pastikan kenaikan tidak membebankan .3. Kerajaan tidak mampu lagi menampung subsidi. 4. Kerajaan memberi jaminan harga runcit petroleum tidak akan dinaikkan lagi pada TAHUN INI . Saudara / Saudari, Pertama sekali abang Perdana Menteri kita ia itu Ibrahim bin Badawi menerusi syarikatnya SkyChef menjadi supplier makanan kepada syarikat penerbangan MAS yang sekarang mengalami kerugian RM900 juta untuk sembilan bulan pertama 2005. Abang PM kita jual sebotol air mineral kepada MAS dengan harga RM30 setiap botol. Kenapa kita hairan MAS rugi ? Menteri Besar terengganu Idris Jusoh telah mengadakan lumba kapal layar Monsoon Cup yang menelan duit rakyat sebanyak RM300.0 Juta.Duit ini di bayar kepada seorang taukeh bernama Patrick Lim dan kekawannya termasuk Khairy Jamaludin menantu Perdana Menteri. Perlumbaan kapal layar tak sampai lima hari makan duit rakyat RM300.0 Juta. Sudah tentu duit RM300.0 Juta itu ditelan oleh orang yang sungguh bertuah dapat kontrak RM300.0 Juta itu. Untuk menutup kehilangan duit sebesar ini sekarang sabsidi minyak di potong dan harga minyak nail 30 sen satu liter. Telekom Malaysia pula rugi lebih RM700 Juta duit rakyat sebab terpaksa bayar ganti rugi kepada syarikat telekom German ia itu Deutsche Telekom.. Terpaksa bayar ganti rugi RM700 Juta sebab Telekom Malaysia tak tahu buat kontrak. Nak tutup rugi ini pula kerajaan potong sabsidi minyak.Sekarang lebih murah naik kapalterbang Air Asia pergi balik dari Kuala Lumpur ke Kuala Terengganu. Tambang pergi balik Air Asia dari Kuala Lumpur ke Kuala Terengganu tak sampai RM300 bagi tiga orang sekeluarga. Air Asia diurus oleh orang yang tidak rasuah dan yang tahu buat bisnes tanpa menyusahkan rakyat. Sekarang dengan harga minyak yang sudah naik, belanja minyak sahaja nak pergi balik dari Kuala Lumpur ke Alor Setar sudah naik hingga RM220 (kereta Proton Waja). Bayar tol pula lebih RM120. Belanja makan dan minum (nasi campur dan teh kosong) bagi sekeluarga enam orang tambah lagi RM40. Ini bermaksud jumlah belanja minyak, tol dan makan minum pergi balik dari Kuala Lumpur ke Alor Setar hampir RM400. Negeri lain bukan macam negara kita. Walaupun harga minyak di Thailand lebih mahal daripada harga minyak di Malaysia tapi di Thailand tak ada bayar tol.Dari Bukit Kayu Hitam ke Bangkok jauhnya lebih 1,100 batu (bukan kilometer) naik lebuhraya enam lorong tanpa bayar TOL (bukan empat lorong macam Lebuhraya Utara Selatan kita). Di Thailand tak ada rasuah AP. Harga kereta Honda Civic 1.5 di Thailand tak sampai RM40,000. Lebih murah daripada harga kereta Perodua Kelisa 1.0 di Malaysia. Inilah kelebihannya di Thailand - tak ada AP di sana . Di Malaysia pula ada AP. Sebenarnya harga AP yang perlu di bayar kepada Kerajaan (MITI) tak sampai RM250 sahaja. Tapi AP boleh di jual sehingga RM40,000 sekeping kepada Dato Dato yang kaya yang di kenal sebagai "AP King". Rasuah AP ini telah berlanjutan selama lebih 30 tahun. Akhir kata rakyat Malaysia yang terpaksa tanggung rasuah AP ini. Oleh yang demikian kereta Honda Civic 1.5 yang dijual dengan harga RM40,000 di Thailand naik harga sehingga RM110,000 di Malaysia. Rakyat Malaysia rugi. Kerajaan pun hilang wang. Bila kerajaan tak cukup wang - maka potonglah subsidi minyak. Maka naik lah harga minyak 30 sen satu liter. Malaysia Boleh!!!!Sekian. Salam.* Tolong hantarkan informasi ini kepada kawan kawan yang anda kenali. Tolong print dan sebarkan kerana hanya 1% penduduk Malaysia yg celik IT.... 99% memerlukan informasi ini sebagai langkah pertama untuk transformasi negara.... Sedarlah sudah 50 tahun kemerdekaan negara kita, tapi kita masih di takuk lama.... HAPUSKAN PENTADBIRAN ASAS RASUAH!!!

Adakah kita harus menjadi mangsa dalam kejadian sedemikian?Orang lain hutang duit,kita sebagai rakyat Malaysia pula kena membayar ? Yang penting sekali, bukan setakat bayar sahaja, manakala nak bayar sampai bila ? Adakah ini akan berhenti ?............

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

ADUHAI....ADUHAI

Tinggal di kampong mendapat kesempatan berpikiaq banyak tentang masaalah orang Melayu luarbandar. 90% adalah terdiri dari penduduk miskin. Mereka kekurangan segala2nya . Di musim sekolah dibuka mereka memerlukan banyak wang . Bukan macam aku mengaji dulu , aku rasa cukup selesa masa aku bersekolah dulu . Tak payah pakai kasut,cuma yang ku perlu ialah sebuah 'laptop' dan sebatang kalam . La ni berbagaian yang perlu dibeli. Nasib mereka baik kalau hujan tak turun , bolehlah mereka pergi menuris getah . Kalau setakat sekilo masih lagi ditahap RM 3.50 , boleh mereka bernafas lega . Mereka terpaksa mengikat perut . Di musim raya korban mereka dah boleh menjamah daging , selepas ini ikan asin tergeliatlah perlu dibeli .
Akhir2 ni tak dak sapa yang nak bercakap bagi pihak orang2 miskin ni . Mereka seolah rakyat terbiar . Projek2 pun dicanang tapi apakan daya tangan tak sampai. Tenaga mereka lemah kerana makanan yang mereka makan tak berkhasiat . Ada saja penyakit yang rela hinggap di tubuh lesu itu .Jadi mereka tak boleh meningkatkan aktiviti mereka . Kekadang aku memohon Allah nak jadi jutawan yang banyak wang , supaya aku boleh bantu mereka sepenuhnya . Setakat menerima 25 ringgit wang kebajikan masyarakat sebulan apa mereka boleh buat . Mereka perlu di overhaul seluruh hidup mereka .
Aku pun kurang arif nak pikiaq yang bukan2 . Nak harap orang politik , depa pula sibok dengan politik masing2. Depa pun nak cari lagi banyak duit . Politik depa berupaya mencari kesalahan orang . Budaya berpolitik dah jadi kotor . Tiada ada batas halal dan haram . Jarang sekali mereka bercakap ini haram dan ini halal . Kalau pandai menipu , dia dianggap bijak. Yang ada asas agama sedikit sangat . ......nanti sedar2 kita sudah berada dihujung jalan .
Islam hadhari pun aku belum nampak kejelasannya . Dah lebih setahun dilancarkan tapi apa benda pun aku tak nampak.....mungkin aku ni orang bodoh , tak paham .....dan mungkin aku ni buta , tak nampak apa benda . Tapi masyarakat semakin celaru , dengan budaya hiburannya yang terlampau sangat ..........pakaian artis2 pun dah terkeluar dari hadharinya ...........dengan hadhari jom berdansanya . Kekadang pening aku memikir segala itu .
Oh ! si miskin.......golongan kamulah yang banyak terdapat di surga....bertaqwa dan bersabarlah.

HOW TO MAKE THE 'BEST'

Sepetang bersama beberapa orang yang dah tak berharga di dunia membincang dan menghitung peristiwa berkorban di daerah pekan Sik . Musim ini kami cukup bangga dengan jumlah korban yang dijalankan di daerah kami yang terkenal dengan kemiskinan. Satu ketika dulu Sik tercorot tempat kedua dibawah senarai kawasan termiskin di Malaysia. Jumlah lembu/kerbau yang dikorbankan di persekelilingan Pekan Sik mencecah 100 ekor . Di hari raya pertama saja 15 ekor dikorbankan di Pondok Haji Salleh , 3 ekor di rumah anak yatim dan dikandang Cikgu uda lebih dari 30 ekor. Sehingga selesai hari tasriq di hitong2 dah sampai 100 ekor . Semua habis di makan di sedekah dalam masa 4 hari . Cuma di rumah anak yatim kami menyimpan dalam freeeze sebanyak 4 ekor sebagai bekalan anak2 yatim dalam beberapa bulan.
Di musim ini orang makan terlampau banyak daging . Jamuan dihidang sepanjang 4 hari berhari raya. Yang dijemput pergi makan dari sebuah rumah ke sebuah rumah. Ada yang larat makan lebih dari 5 kali . Ada yang makan sampai melebihi hadnya .
Aku ingat adalah lebih baik kita berjimat dengan daging korban itu . JKKK perlu memainkan peranan menyimpan dan mengagihkan daging itu kepada fakir miskin 2 minggu sekali . Jadi keperluan makan daging mereka tu terjamin . Tapi kebanyakkan JKKK ni kurang berwawasan,yang depa minat berebut peruntukan .Rakyat miskin tak terbela . Cuma 5 tahun sekali adalah subsidi2 pilihanraya . Rakyat miskin dijadikan alat politik. Politik jadi kotor . budaya berpolitik dah cukup kotor . Ada kawan makan kawan . Tipumenipu dah jadi biasa. Depa dah tak nampak yang mana halal dan yang mana haram . Rasuah dah tak ternampak dibaluti oleh dosa besar.Yang pasti aku pun nak bahagian yang berdosa itu . Dah berani lawan hukum Allah ....masyaallah.

A 'YES' OR A 'NO'

FOR TEACHERS AND EX-TEACHERS TO PONDER
LET US HAVE A GOOD LOOK AT THE ARTICLE BELOW.......TAKEN FROM THE STAR.TO ALL WHO 'LOVE' EDUCATION.To change or not to changeStories by TAN SHIOW CHIN and TAN EE LOOeducate@thestar.com.myShould Science and Maths be taught in English? The debate continues, as stakeholders in education got together at a one-day colloquium to share their views.AFTER five years, the English for the Teaching of Mathematics and Science (ETeMS) policy is still being hotly debated.In light of that, the Malaysian English Language Teaching Association (Melta) decided to organise a National Colloquium on the Teaching of Mathematics and Science in English recently, in conjunction with its 25th anniversary.Said Melta president Assoc Prof Dr Malachi Edwin Vethamani: “This has been an ongoing debate, and I think we have reached a crucial point.“What we often hear are (from) the politicians; we felt that we should get the people who are involved in education to speak up.”ASSOC PROF YOONG: Focus is often given to successful students while the silent majority who suffer are ignored.The one-day colloquium began with a keynote address by former Malaysia Airlines managing director and CEO Tan Sri Abdul Aziz Abdul Rahman, who was then followed by seven speakers representing different stakeholders in education.Most of the speakers were of the opinion that the policy is here to stay, and all that is required for its successful implementation is time and effort.In his address, Abdul Aziz reminded the 200-odd participants to remember the aims of the policy.“As I understand, it is aimed not just at improving the standard of the English language among Malaysians.“More importantly, it is to give Malaysian learners access to the large body of knowledge in Mathematics and Science which is available in the English language.”For Mara Junior Science College Alumni (Ansara) president Datuk Mukhriz Mahathir, the answer is simple.“To me, it is a matter of survival. In this day and age, it is the country that has good scientific literature that is going to survive.”Malaysian Scientific Association president Prof Datuk Dr Khairul Anuar Abdullah agreed: “Most of the information on science is presented in English; most textbooks and journals are in English.”He added that science subjects in institutions of higher learning are taught in English as most reference materials are available in English, and translation into Bahasa Malaysia is difficult, with the end-result generally not as good as the original.According to National Parent-Teacher Associations Collaborative Council president Assoc Prof Datuk Dr Mohamad Ali Hassan, the policy itself was “first-class”, but the delivery system was “fourth-class”.His vice-president Norhani Mohd Affandi, who spoke on his behalf, said: “The switch, when it was done in 2003, was really abrupt.“The teachers, especially in the rural areas, were taken by surprise.”She added: “Parents are saying that the teachers are lost, and their children are also lost.”Meanwhile, according to Education Ministry Curriculum Development Centre deputy director Ali Abdul Ghani, the ministry had embarked on numerous projects to ensure that the ETeMS policy was well implemented.Training has been carried out, textbooks and courseware are ready and teachers are implementing the policy in their schools, he said.MUKHRIZ: It is a matter of survival - in this day and age, it is the country that has good scientific literature that is going to survive.“We need to give them time,” he added, saying that many teachers had been depressed, frustrated and inclined to quit during the early stages of the policy.National Union of the Teaching Profession (NUTP) general treasurer Harry Tan Huat Hock said: “We still draw a lot of flak from proponents of mother tongues and people out for political mileage.”He added that teachers are “doing their best to implement the policy”, and that the switch in the medium of instruction was a painful process.Two speakers, however, queried the ability of the policy to achieve its goals, as they presented research findings that show young children make better progress learning in their mother tongue compared with a second or third language.Child Health, Information, Learning and Development Centre founder trustee Dr N. Iyngkaran and United Chinese Schools Board of Governors and Teachers Associations (Dong Jiao Zong) Examination Section director Assoc Prof Dr Yoong Suan were speaking from the viewpoints of Tamil and Chinese vernacular schools respectively.Dr Iyngkaran presented his comparative analysis of Tamil and national school UPSR results from 1995 to 2002, as well as his conclusion that subjects in Bahasa Malaysia or English are more difficult for Tamil school students to follow.Assoc Prof Yoong, meanwhile, pointed out that focus was often given to the few successful cases, while the silent majority who suffer were ignored.“In Malaysia, we always have one policy to fit all, without taking into account our diversity,” he said, agreeing with Norhani that the policy was implemented abruptly.Expressing reservations on the policy, he added, did not mean that Chinese educationists and parents were against improving the level of English among Malaysian students or that they were chauvinistic.

Friday, December 14, 2007

SIAPA KITA ?

SIAPA KITA ?
WHO ARE WE ?




Kita beriya-iya sangat nak majukan Negara , buat projek sana-sini
Dan membelanjakan berbillion2 ringgit , olehKerana hanya memikirkan supaya negara maju, maka yang terusmaju ialah negara bukan rakyatnya. Negara maju , rakyat merempat.
Yang membangun ialah negara bukan orangnya. Masyarakat manusianya dibiarkanbermain dan berlalai dengan nafsu.Mereka disogokkan dengan berbagai hiburan yang
Melalaikan . Dapat dilihat bagaimana rancangan2 tv yang boleh mempesonakan
golongan muda dan tua . Hati mereka tidak dihiasidengan iman dan taqwa. Maka nafsulah yang menjadi raja danyang menjadi Tuhan. Nafsulah yang mengatur kehidupan.Kehendak nafsulah yang diturutkan. Sebab itu masyarakatmenjadi huru-hara dan kacau-bilau.Negara dibangunkan sekehendaknya, dimajukan mengikut selera peminpin
dan dimodenkan mengikut agenda terkini. Ilmudicari, ekonomi dibina, jawatan dikejar. Dalam masa yang sama,kehendak nafsu diikuti dan dituruti. Nafsu menjadi raja dalam diri .
Nafsu dilayan semahu-mahunya. Semuanya berlandaskan nafsu.Akhirnya nafsu menjadi subur dan berputik.Ia berputik dan menjadi bunga . Bunganya nafsu menjadi buah.Apakah buah nafsu? Buah nafsu ialah mazmumah. Buah nafsuialah sombong, hasad, dengki, bakhil, pemarah, pendendam,panas baran, ujub, sum’ah, riyak, gila dunia, gila puji danmacam-macam lagi.Nafsu membaluti diri , mengongkong diri dan nafsu sangat mendorong kepada kejahatan. Nafsu suka sangat pada apa yang Tuhan larang dan benci pada apa yang Tuhan suruh.Nafsu benci kepada sembahyang, puasa, zakat, menolong orangdan bersedekah. Nafsu suka kepada berfoya-foya, membazirharta dan wang ringgit, arak, judi, zina dan lain-lainnya. Bilanafsu berperanan, susah hendak taat dengan Tuhan. Susahhendak tegakkan suruhan dan syariat Tuhan. Nafsulah penghalangutama kepada iman dan taqwa.Buah-buah nafsu yang bersarang di hati, merosakkan hubungan sesama manusia.Sifat-sifat mazmumah seperti sombong, hasad, dengki, bakhil,pemarah, panas baran itulah yang menyebabkan berlakunyaberbagai jenayah dan menjadi punca manusia bergaduh,berkelahi, berkrisis dan akhirnya membunuh dan berperangsesama sendiri. Hidup manusia rosak binasa. Manusia hiduppenuh cemas, bimbang dan dalam ketakutan. Hilang kedamaian,keamanan, keharmonian, perpaduan dan kasih sayang.Musnahlah kebahagiaan.

Kalau tak pandai kawal diri , nafsu lah menjadi pengawalnya.
Maka HAPRAKlah jatidiri . Bergelumanglah kita dengan najis .
Najis itu busuk , maka busuklah keseluruhannya . Dato’ Shahnon pandai
menulis tentang najis . Bacalah buku SHIT. Dato’ juga tulis MUNTAH .
Kedua2nya jenis najis .

Nabi S.A.W bersabda , maksudnya “ Dunia ini seperti Bangkai “ .

Wallahuaklam.

WHICH WAY ARE WE HEADING TO..........

Untuk Berkongsi Bersama Menangani Gejala Sosial





Alangkah malangnya apabila para pendidik sama ada dikalangan ibu bapa, guru atau pemimpin negara sudah tidakada wibawa sehingga kecacatan mereka terserlah di mata rakyat.Anak-anak tahu, murid-murid tahu, masyarakat tahu, anggotajemaah tahu dan rakyat tahu akan semua kecacatanmereka.Di waktu itu orang ramai tidak akan hormat lagi. Anak-anaktidak akan menghormati ibu bapa, murid tidak lagimenghormati guru dan rakyat tidak lagi menghormati pemimpinnya.Orang akan hilang keyakinan. Akibatnya di waktuitu orang ramai sudah tidak mahu taat lagi, bahkan makinbanyak pemimpin itu bercakap dan membuat kerja pemimpin,makin dibenci orang.Kalau perkara ini berlaku di dunia ertinya dunia sudahkiamat sebelum Kiamat. Keamanan tidak akan tertegak dankasih sayang tidak akan wujud lagi. Pasti banyak berlakujenayah dan segala bentuk gejala sosial.Itulah rahsia mengapa gejala sosial hari ini, walaupun sudahdiusahakan dengan gigih untuk mengurangkannya namunbukan sahaja tidak berkurangan bahkan bertambah meningkat,kerana sebahagian manusia yang menanganinya sama-samaturut membuat kemungkaran dan maksiat. Cuma tidaknampak oleh mata lahir sepertimana yang dibuat oleh pararemaja yang dapat dilihat di khalayak ramai.Kalaulah dapat dilihat, jangan-jangan kejahatan yang dibuatoleh para pemimpin yang tersembunyi itu lebih dahsyatdaripada apa yang dilakukan oleh para remaja. Mungkin maksiatyang dibuat itu tidak sama bentuknya tapi masing-masingtetap sudah terjebak dengan maksiat.Sebagai contoh, pemimpin atau orang yang menjadi tiangseri negara mungkin tidak melakukan vandalism, tetapi merekasombong dan pemarah. Kalaupun mereka tidak melepak-lepak,mereka rasuah. Kalaupun mereka tidak mencuri, tetapitamak dan bakhil. Kalaupun mereka tidak berzina, tetapimementingkan diri sendiri. Kalaupun mereka tidak bergaduhtetapi mereka riyak dan sombong, kalaupun mereka tidak membunuhtetapi mereka menzalimi orang, suka glamor dan nama.Walaupun orang ramai tidak tahu kerana mereka tidakmelakukannya secara terbuka tetapi Tuhan Maha Mengetahui.Di sinilah punca mengapa usaha-usaha mereka tidak dibantuAllah.Hari ini, golongan-golongan tunggak masyarakat ramai lagiyang belum sedar, tetapi ingin menyedarkan orang. Merekapun sangat kurang membaiki diri tetapi menyuruh orangramai membaiki diri. Lebih-lebih lagi dalam keadaan merekapun masih belum berubah, mereka mengata, menuding jari,menghina dan menuduh golongan lain yang menimbulkangejala sosial.Bukan sahaja orang jahat sakit hati tetapi orang baik punakan benci. Kerana rakyat tahu pada hakikatnya mereka punperosak masyarakat tetapi bentuknya sahaja yang tidak sama.Orang awam dan para remaja melakukannya secara terbukatetapi mereka melakukannya di tempat-tempat yang tertutupdan eksklusif. Kalaupun orang ramai tidak tahu tapi bolehkahmereka lari dari pengetahuan Allah?Dalam masa hendak membanteras gejala-gejala sosial yangditimbulkan oleh para pelajar dan remaja, pada masa yangsama para pemimpin, guru-guru, ibu bapa dan pegawai-pegawaikerajaan pun turut terlibat dengan maksiat. Bagaimanalahpara pelajar dan remaja mahu menerima nasihat dandisiplin mereka. Dalam hati mereka akan berkata, "Mengapamasalah kita mereka nak sibuk, sedangkan orang-orang tuadan orang-orang besar pun buat masalah lebih besar dan lebihserius dari kita."Kadang-kadang mereka itulah yang menganjur dan membuatprogram untuk menangani gejala sosial, tetapi bagaimanakahTuhan akan tolong usaha ini kalau penganjurnyasendiri pun terlibat dengan maksiat. Bagaimanalah Allahmahu membantu usaha-usaha ini kalau Allah Taala telahmurka pada para penganjurnya. Akibatnya habis masa, terkorbanwang ringgit, sia-sia sahaja tenaga yang digunakan tetapihasilnya tiada. Gejala sosial tetap terus berlaku. Adakalanyaia lebih teruk lagi.Ditakuti, orang yang hendak membetulkan kesalahan itupunsama-sama tidak tahu mana yang benar, mana yang salah.Tidak mustahil boleh berlaku padi dimusnahkan tapi lalangdijaga. Buah diperjuangkan tapi pokok ditebang.Sebab itulah ibu bapa, guru-guru dan pemimpin di semuaperingkat hendaklah menjaga maruah. Hendaklah menjagawibawa diri. Sebab nasib orang ramai ditentukan oleh mereka.Macam mana orang jahat hendak memimpin orang jahat. Adakalanya bila orang jahat memimpin orang baik, akhirnya orangbaik pun akan jadi jahat juga.Setiap golongan yang bertanggungjawab memerangi gejalasosial ini sama ada ibu bapa, guru-guru atau para pemimpin,mestilah meniatkan usaha ini kerana Tuhan. Niat memeranginyakerana ia adalah perkara yang salah di sisi Tuhan.Janganlah memeranginya semata-mata kerana ia telah memakandan menyusahkan diri sendiri atau telah menjadimasalah pada kita. Kalau itulah niat kita, takut-takut kita tidakakan mendapat bantuan Allah.Setiap kesalahan yang dilakukan jadikanlah pengajaran.Kita patut insaf sebagai tanda kelemahan diri. Kesalilah keterlanjuranitu dan berazamlah untuk tidak mengulanginya lagi.Usaha lahir manusia semata-mata tidak cukup untuk menanganimasalah ini. Bantuan Allah amat diperlukan dan kenalahdiambil kira. Jika Allah Taala tidak membantu kita keranadosa-dosa kita, akan sia-sialah segala usaha kita itu, bahkantakut-takut akan menambahkan lagi dosa kita manakala gejalasosial yang kita hadapi tidak juga dapat dipulih dan dibersihkan.
( sengaja tidak ditulis dalam berbentuk perenggan)

Thursday, December 6, 2007

IHSAN & SAKINAH

Almost a month I did not visit my own blog . All was because being too busy with the marriage of Ihsan and Sakinah . Both were married on the 18th of November,2007 at the Alam Shah Mosque at Jalan Pudu,Kuala Lumpur. I travelled a long way from Sik,Kedah with my wife and my two children Salwa and Ikhwan to attend the historic ceremony . Thank you to my besan Haji Khialdin and his wife Kak Teh for their friendliness and the hospitalities given .
Returned on the 20th November I started the preparations for the kenduri which I promised on the 26 th of the same month. Exactly one week left. Luckily I am surrounded by the kampong folks who did much help and the labour they rendered is very valueable , and I will never forget it . The gotong royong brought a very successful kenduri on that day . The jamuan was a collection of rural dishes ; gulai rias pisang , gado-gado,sambal belacan,ulam ala kampong comprising of ulam raja,pegaga,petai,sawi bukit,pucuk samak,pucuk2 hutan yang lain2 lagi, juga termasuk ikan talang kering yang di goreng bersama cili kering dan bawang . All the guests were satisfied with the food aspecially the gado-gado which Mak Wan herself made the kuah , was finished just by 2 o'clock. The gulai rias pisang was was extraordinary because I bought the rempah giling . This dish was a special permintaan from my besan Haji Khialdin . He wanted his rombongan to taste that rural curry;the curry of banana shoots plus beef .
Being to short a span of time I could manage to invite only a few friends , and that also by phone calls . Many could not be contacted , because some had change their numbers . I didn't prepare any cards . What a pity . Those who could be contacted all attended . Thank you to you all. Thank you Pak Non and his Mak Wan who made possibble to attend , but that gado-gado of pucuk ubi kayu,tokqua and toge had already finished . But that tapai pulut was a bit keras because pulut susu was not found in market.
Insyaallah , if well prepared the impossibble could be made posibble.
Thank you to all , without you all , I could do nothing.
Alhamdulillah....I convey many thanks to Allah for the good weather; no rains and not to hot.Without the help of Allah nothing is possibble.
May I wish the new couple a happy life dunia dan akhirat . Selamat berhoneymoon.
Regards from ayah dan emak .

Sunday, November 4, 2007

TITI GAJAH AS I SEE IT

Dok lalu kat Titi Gajah tu sejak muda2 dulu hingga sekarang , tapi tak pernah aku berhenti menjejakkan kaki ku . Tiada ada kenalan ku kat situ . Tapi pada hari sabtu 3 november aku mendapat kesempatan ke mahligai Pak Non & Mak Wan bersama kekawan Azmi dan Mahadzir . Pak Non & Mak Wan dah kenal dengan Azmi , tapi belum lagi dengan Mahadzir . Ku ajak Mahadzir bersama , dia muda setahun dari ku , tapi yang peliknya semasa ku di Form 5 dia masih lagi kat Form one . Ibunya bekas ADUN Sik banyak menolong ku sejak kecil2 lagi . Aku mendapat Federal Minor scholarship di atas pertolongan ibu Mahadzir. Kalau tidak mungkin ku tak dapat meneruskan pengajian ku . Lepas tu ibunya juga menolong meminang isteriku sekarang ini dan membuat segala persiapan perkahwinan .
Pak Non & Mak Wan menyambut kami penuh mesra . Dengan kuih raya , ketupat dan serondeng . Ku cukup tertarik dengan rumah Pak Non & Mak Wan ; ada urban dan ada traditionalnya . Mahligainya mengandungi banyak bahan2 sejarah Kedah , dan ku harapkan simpanan rekod2 lama maupun dalam bentuk tulisan dan alatan2nya boleh membantu pihak2 para sejarawan dan muzium menambahkan lagi penemuan2 yang baru .
Di belakang mahligai Pak Non , ku tertarik dengan sungai , rumpun bambu , pokok2 keladi dan berbagai lagi . Semasa kecil dulu suasana begitulah yang menjadi lokasi permainan dengan kawan2 . Sambil bermandi-manda dapat pula memancing ikan di air . Boleh menahan kail taut , menahan bubu dan menjala . Tapi sungai2 di mana pun sekarang ini tidak lagi memberi manfaat kepada manusia . Airnya dah mengalir lesu , tercemar dan tidak sejernih dulu lagi . Ikan pun tak sejenoh dulu lagi . Nak mandi pun kena pikiaq dua kali , kerana kualiti airnya dah tenat . Rumpun buluh duri di belakang mahligai Pak Non membawa ku jauh ke masa dulu . Itulah bahan yang ku guna membuat meriam buluh . Meriam buluh berdentum di sekitar Bukit Srengenge di musim menyambut hari raya . Kami tak pernah mendapat kecederaan bila bermain meriam buluh , mungkin kami dulu terdiri dari golongan pakar-pakar .
Perahu Pak Non memikat hatiku , dulu ku buatkan rakit dari batang buluh untuk bermain bersama kekawan di sungai . Berdayung ke hulu dan ke hilir . ....alahai seronoknya dunia kanak-kanak dulu .
There are many interesting features around your mansion Pak Non . Thank you to both of you and Mak Wan for a very kind hospitality .
JAZAKALLAH KHAIRAN KATHIRA .

Sunday, October 28, 2007

VIETNAM WAR ....just to remember

The longest American War , the war in Vietnam , is nearly forgotten . America went to war in foreign lands, and now in Iraq . That is the truth of the world police-state .

click here: it was the war in Vietnam

http://patriotfiles.org/VietnamWar.htm

IT WAS THEN A WONDERFUL WORLD

Just click below for the wonderful world we once encountered with .


http://oldbluewebdesigns.com/wonderfulworld.htm

WHEN LIFE WAS IN BLACK & WHITE.........a long,long ago

It was a long , long ago .


http://objflicks.com/WhenLifeWasInBlack&white.htm

GO BACK TO THE 50'S

Untuk kekawan yang dah lama pencen,cuba layari website di bawah.Let us share the life in the 50's.

http://oldfortyfives.com/TakeMeBackToTheFifties.htm

Thursday, October 25, 2007

MEMENUHI PERMINTAAN PAK ZAINOL ARSHAD

Ini adalah catatan atas permintaan Pak Zainol Arshad : Getting To Know You & Acquiantance With The Kirkbyites .



LIFE-HISTORY :

Borned from a poor and rural family in the disrict of Sik , Kedah. Life was then very harsh for the family as I was born at the time when the Japanese invaded Malaya . My poor mother and father had to work hard as food was scarce . As everybody knows the Japanese confiscated anything for their own use ……..especially rice . My family had no choice but to eat tapioca cooked with leaves collected from the forest . Since small my diet was either mashed roasted bananas or ubi torak rebus . And I presumed most of the babies in the village ate that too.

Yeah, I was brought-up in that kampong , far in the jungle . The jungle life I got made me more or less like “ Kunta-Kinte” . The jungle was a “city” by itself . The experience of jungle life made me experts in certain fields . I can collect leaves , roots , shoots of trees that can be eaten .I could trap pelandok easily , I was able to catch them alive through a special method of drumming the ground. The pelandok will come jumping and dancing ,thinking that it was King Solomon’s beating the drum . Nowadays no way I can catch them . There are no more pelandoks . Everyday climbing up trees was a must . Then jumping down using the akar kayu like what the Tarzan used to do . Most fathers and mothers never bothered their children daily activities . The jungle was our playground . We too played football . We kicked pameloes all over through shrubs and bushes . Of course barefooted..

I cannot remember how the hell I was sent to school . I was a good scholar . I never skip attending school. I liked attending school. It was here that I learned to ‘love’ school teachers . And teachers ‘love’ me too . I often brought presents to my teachers . Mostly fruits of the jungle . Petai is no acceptional . My teachers also like buah lemba . It is a magic fruit : If you eat buah lemba , the plain water that you drink gets sweeter . Daily I walked about 2 kilometers to school , through the deep jungle . No shoes of course , because I felt uncomfortable with the shoes on .Sometimes wild boars passed my route to school . I was in my birthday suit half-way to school ,just to avoid the school uniforms got wet when trespassing through the bushes and what not . I only put on my school uniforms comprising of a white shirt and a khaki shorts when everything was OK . I carried a bag made from mengkuang palm leaves . In it I put my slate board . No books….I mean text-books . People today carry their laptops . The slate board ( papan batu) was our laptops then . I attended school bare-footed . I don’t remember any kid wearing shoes to school then .

I didn’t realize that I was a bright student until I was selected to the English school in the special malay class. Among my friends selected were sons of school teachers and the daughter of the district officer. I was only the only ‘jungle-boy ‘ . I believed that my success was due to my respect to my teachers . So I always kept in mind to respect the teachers.

At Ibrahim school I was given a place in the hostel . The hostel was just a wooden house with the roof made from nipah palms leaves . We had to share only one tap water to bath and wash . We had to queue to ease ourselves . But luckily there was a jungle behind the hostel , and in that jungle I made myself free to ease . Nobody knew it until today . Thanks God for being made me intelligent to suit myself to a new envoirenment . I don’t remember how I could cope up with life-style at the hostel . Especially at the eating table , I had to eat using fork and spoon . Everybody was talking in English , and I didn’t understand a word of English then . But how the hell I could adjust myself in any occasion ……..no culture-shock ………..thanks Allah . Later when I watched the TV series ‘MIND YOUR LANGUAGE’ , my nostalgic days emerged . Why not ! that characters of Ali Nadim and Sarjit Singh learning English with Mr.Brown made me laughed without end . When Ali Nadim was asked , “What is your name ? “ . His answer was ,” What is not my name” . I don’t remember how I myself answered it when my first English teacher Mr. Abdul Rahim bin Mohd Yusof ( a kirkbyite from the first batch ) asked me , as I knew not a word of English ……….It was a kirkbyite who made me uttered the first English word ….thank you Mr. Abdul Rahim…peace be upon your soul . Later when I was selected to undergo in-service course at STTI,Cheras , for a year , I again met Mr.Abdul Rahim . He was then a Vice-Principal of the college . When he saw me he shouted ,”Pak Hitam”, ( that was the nick-name I was popular with in school then ) . After separating for more than 20 years ,he could still remember me …..what a teacher he was ( so are the kirkbyites whom I got to know them ).

I am please to list out my former teachers from Kirkby : In bracket is the location of their service , where acquiantances permitted .

First batch:

Abdullah Yunus ……………......( Ibrahim School ,Sungai Petani )
Abd.Rahim Mohd.Yusoff ( ,, )
Ahmad Merican ( ,, )
John Augustin ( ,, )
Hj.Abu Hassan Ali ( SITC , Tg. Malim )
Hj.Baharuddin Marji ( ,, )
Ismail Osman ( Ibrahim School,Sungai Petani)
Maimunah Ali ( STTI , Cheras )
Siti Kalthom ( State Education Department )

Second batch :

Aziz Bin Omar ( Language Institiut , Lembah P )
Dr. Chua Tee Tee ( STTI , Cheras )
Hashim Yunus ( Ibrahim School )
David Raman ( Ibrahim School )
Wan Dus Muhammad ( SITC , Tg. Malim )

Third Batch :

Abd.Aziz bin Sultan ( SITC , Tg. Malim )
Shaari Isa ( SITC , Tg. Malim )
Syed Abu Bakar ( Sik English School , Kedah )

Fouth Batch :

Fang Ewe Churh ( Ibrahim School, Sungai Petani )
Mohd. Noor Che Noh ( Ibrahim School,Sungai Petani )
Ridzuan Md.Ali ( SITC , Tanjong Malim )



Others ( I don’t know from which batch )

1.Aziz Hasbullah ( Ibrahim School , Sungai Petani )
2.Zainol Akbar ( SITC , Tg. Malim )
3.M.A.Hussein ( Gov.English School,Rawang )

Incase I forget to mention ,if any , my thousand apologies ( quote : Sarjit Singh ( Mind Your language).

Sunday, October 7, 2007

THE BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE.......EMAIL FROM DR. CHUA TEE TEE

A VERY INTERESTING ARTICLE VIA EMAIL FROM DR. CHUA TEE TEE

A BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE

Our Birth is our Opening Balance !
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets
Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account
Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents
Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.


SOME VERY GOOD AND VERY BAD THINGS

The most destructive habit......................Worry
The greatest Joy...............................Giving
The greatest loss................Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work...............Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.............Selfishness
The most endangered species.........Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource...............Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"..........Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill........Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease............Excuses
The most powerful force in life..................Love
The most dangerous pariah..................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer........The brain
The worst thing to be without................... Hope
The deadliest weapon.......................The tongue
The two most power-filled words..............."I Can"
The greatest asset..............................Faith
The most worthless emotion..................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire......................SMILE!
The most prized possession................Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication.....Prayer
The most contagious spirit.................Enthusiasm

GOD IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE , WITHOUT WHOM THERE WILL BE NOTHING

Saturday, October 6, 2007

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.......a rest day

Please click : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG-NjvTpiIc


Ali Nadim will serve you coffee...........betul2 kaw.

After coffee why not click this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnnG-kSEw28&mode=related&search=

Have a day's rest .

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 21

WHAT A TANGLED WEB


Miss Courtney gives the class an oral exam, but after a few minutes gives up in exasperation. Ali has a problem at home & tells Jeremy about it. He says his wife is never home lately.Jeremy follows Ali's wife (Rehana) to Ranjeet's place, he thinks she's having an affair.Jeremy has a talk with Rehana asking her indirectly if she's having an affair. Rehana missunderstands & thinks Ali is the one having the affair.! Rehana was meeting with Ranjeet to plan a party after class for Ali for being a good Husband. Now when Ali & Jeremy walk in to the classroom, Ali is confronted by his wife with an accusation. Rehana tells him Jeremy told her he had a girlfriend. Jeremy tells her she's missunderstood him & ducks as she throws the cake at him. Before long the food is flying across the room & several people get hit in the face with cake.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 20

THE SCHOOL FETE


Miss Courtney wants a celebrity to open the school fete. Max says he knows Arthur Mullard personally & Miss Courtney asks Max if Mr Mullard would open the fete for them.Max doesn't really know Arthur Mullard he was bragging. After class He & Giovanni are at the Pub when Sid drops in for a pint. Max asks him to ring Miss Courtney,appologise to her & say he can't open the fete after all.When Miss Courtney says there will be a small cash payment,Sid thanks her & will see her at the fete.A man sitting at the bar looks like Arthur Mullard & Max tells him so, it turns out he really is Arthur Mullard & Max asks him if he would open the fete. He agrees and Max is out of trouble.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 19

REPENT AT LEISURE


Miss Courtney gives Jeremy a cassette recorder to help his students with their elocution. In turn they all speak into the recorder & then Jeremy plays it back for them to listen to.Anna arrives late & soon bursts into tears. It seems her visa is expiring & she will be sent back to Germany.Max & Giovanni invite Jeremy to the pub after class, get him drunk & next day tell him that he proposed to Anna so she can stay in England.Jeremy tells Anna he can't marry her & she tells him not to worry,because she is from West Germany & is therefore part of the common market & can stay. However her friend Eva from East Germany who's visa is expiring needs to marry an Englishman so she can stay. Eva comes into the class room & starts to chase Jeremy around the room.!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 19

REPENT AT LEISURE


Miss Courtney gives Jeremy a cassette recorder to help his students with their elocution. In turn they all speak into the recorder & then Jeremy plays it back for them to listen to.Anna arrives late & soon bursts into tears. It seems her visa is expiring & she will be sent back to Germany.Max & Giovanni invite Jeremy to the pub after class, get him drunk & next day tell him that he proposed to Anna so she can stay in England.Jeremy tells Anna he can't marry her & she tells him not to worry,because she is from West Germany & is therefore part of the common market & can stay. However her friend Eva from East Germany who's visa is expiring needs to marry an Englishman so she can stay. Eva comes into the class room & starts to chase Jeremy around the room.!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 18

QUILTY OR NOT QUILTY ?


Jeremy sets the class a task to go out in pairs on a field trip and report back to him with the results of their outing.Jeremy is called to defend the class in court when they've each been arrested for disturbing the peace in some form or another.Jeremy is surprised to see that the Magistrate is Miss Courtney.In Pairs the class give their explanations as to what lead them to being arrested. Two by two they are exonerated due to missunderstandings or ignorance. However Jeremy is warned not to front the bench again or he'll be in serious trouble.!Jeremy tells Miss Courtney that it won't happen again & leaves the courtroom. While walking to his car a Policeman writes him a ticket for an expired road tax sticker.!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 17

JUST THE JOB


Jeremy is teaching the Students the art of conversation, when Sid enters & tells Jeremy a Mr English wants to see him.Mr English offers Jeremy a job for more money & Jeremy decides to take the Job. He tells Miss Courtney he's leaving & says good-bye to the class.Next day Jeremy arrives at his new job & Mr English asks him why he is there.?Jeremy tells him about the Job & Mr English tells him the other teacher wasn't leaving after all so they can't use him.Jeremy goes to see Miss Courtney to ask for his old job back but the position has been filled.The class don't like the new teacher & pretend to be dumb. Jeremy gets a phone call from Miss Courtney asking if he wants his old job back, it seems the class managed to scare away the new teacher.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 16

NO FLOWERS BY REQUEST


Juan is having stomach pains before class & his classmates tell him he should see a Doctor. While answering a question he doubles over in pain & Jeremy sends for Mrs Foster the school nurse.Mrs Foster suspects it is his appendix and they rush him to Hospital.Later Juan comes back and he is allright, when they ask him what happened to Jeremy he tells them Jeremy fell and is in the Hospital with a broken leg.Miss Courtney takes over the class & during a tea break Juan rings the hospital to see how Jeremy is doing. The Nurse confuses John Brown with Jeremy Brown & tells Juan that Mr Brown passed away not long ago.Next morning Sid & Miss Courtney are wearing black arm bands and are standing in the hall when Jeremy comes up in the elevator in a wheelchair. They are startled when they see him & say we thought you were dead.The class are attending Mr Brown's funeral when Sid and Jeremy (still in a wheelchair)arrive. The students are happy to see him & Sid lets go of the chair & it rolls down the hill. Jeremy & the chair fall into the open grave.!!Later Jeremy is back in the Hospital with two broken legs & a broken arm. The students arrive & bring the wreaths instead of wasting them.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 15

WHO LOVES YA BABY ?


Giovanni & the boys are doing their homework together in the canteen before class. Danielle comes into the room pushing a baby in a pram.! She is minding the baby for her employers & couldn't leave it home alone. Danielle asks Gladys to mind the baby while she attends class.Jeremy has a cross word puzzle on the black board & asks the class to solve it. Sid comes in & tells Danielle the baby is missing.! Miss Courtney finds the baby alone in the canteen while Gladys was in the Ladies toilet. Miss Courtney asks Jeremy to mind the baby in her office while she asks the class whose baby it is, Danielle tells her the baby belongs to the couple she is Au Pair to.The baby cries & Jeremy goes to get a chocolate bar from the vending machine in the hall, Gladys walks in , finds the baby and takes him with her. When Jeremy returns he thinks the baby has crawled out of the open window and onto the ledge.!He climbs onto the ledge looking for the baby & Miss Courtney returns, sees the window open & closes it.Jeremy climbs to the classroom window & they let him in side.Danielle is holding the baby & gives him to Jeremy to hold when Miss Courtney enters & the baby wets all over Jeremy.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 14

I BELONGTO GLASGOW


Miss Courtney informs Jeremy that,Zoltan has gone back to Hungary. While in her office A Sheik arrives & wants to enrol his Scottish chauffer in an english class. Miss Courtney tells the Sheik they don't accept mid term enrolments. The Sheik offers Miss Courtney 2,000 pounds & Miss Courtney accepts.Jock (the chauffer) tells the class he's from Glasgow & the only one who understands him is Jeremy. Jeremy tries to improve Jock's diction. before long Jock has insulted everyone in the class & a near riot ensues. After a tea break Miss Courtney takes over Jeremy's class, while Jeremy is teaching the Sheik how to speak Scottish.!!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 13

QUEEN FOR A DAY


Jeremy is annoyed that everyone is coming late for class. Ali arrives later still & when questioned about his lateness shows Jeremy his new watch that he bought for two pounds fifty from the market.It seems someone has sold him a 'Dud.'!Fforbes Ffortescue arrives at the school & tells Miss Courtney that Queen Elizabeth will be making a visit to the school. Miss Courtney tells Jeremy & they decorate the school for the royal visit.Jeremy's students dress in their national costume & are paradedone by one in the canteen before the Queen's visit.Miss Courtney would like a class member to present a posy of flowers to Her Majesty when she visits & selects Jamilla to do the honours.Unfortunately for the school, the Queen's schedule is behind & to make up time they drop the visit to the school from the schedule. However nobody tells Miss Courtney & the others. When a Mrs Baxter arrives downstairs she bears a stunning resemblanceto the Queen. Mrs Baxter is looking for her Husband , Sid sees her & thinks she's the Queen. He directs her to the classroom where Miss Courtney introduces Jeremy & Jamilla offers her the posy which she takes reluctantly. Miss Courtney offers her a cup of tea & as they walk into her office Jeremy looks out the window to see the Royal party driving past the school.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 12

ALL PRESENT IF NOT CORRECT


Jeremy starts the new term wondering how many different students he'll have this time. He enters the classroom & meets Zoltan from Hungary who speaks very little English.Then he meets Ingrid from Sweden.One by one his students from last term arrive and Jeremy is very dissapointed, He feels he's failed by not teaching them anything.He also says there'll be twice as much homework this term.At tea break time, Zoltan wants Jeremy to help him write a love letter to his girlfriend. Jeremy does so & Zoltan is thanking him when Miss Courtney walks in to tell Jeremy she's not happy with his results from last term.She tells him she'll be watching him.Sid is in the cafeteria reading the paper.He tells Jeremy about the premium bonds winning number (1FF23232) Jeremy tells him that's his number, Jeremy has won 50,000 pounds.!Jeremy writes a nasty letter to Miss Courtney & wants Ali to deliver it. He mixes it up with the love letter he wrote for Zoltan & gives Zoltan the nasty one.Jeremy checks the paper again & reads a correction of the premium bond number. ( should be 1EF23232.) He has to stop Ali giving that note to Miss Courtney.! Miss Courtney is flattered by the love letter & poor Zoltan is beaten up.!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 11

THE EXAMINATION


Ali,Giovanni & Max are in the pub. Ali is playing the poker machine & is sure he'll win soon.! He runs out of 10p coins & asks Jeremy who has just walked in if he has any coins.While Ali's back is turned, Ranjeet comes in,places 10p in the 'pokie' & wins the jackpot.!Jeremy tells them they should be studying for the upcoming exam not wasting time in the pub.!Jeremy is walking to the bar when a lady customer thinks he works there & gives him her order. Jeremy says he doesn't work there, He's a teacher. The lady thinks Jeremy has two jobs.He buys the drinks for the lady, her husband & himself. He forgets which one is his & takes a sip out of one. When Jeremy asks the lady for the money for the drinks, her husband refuses to pay because he saw Jeremy take a sip of one of them.The man insults Jeremy, Jeremy insults him back & pours the drink on the mans head & leaves.Later, Jeremy is telling the class about the exam when Miss Courtney wants him to meet the examiner. Jeremy is shocked to see the examiner is the man he poured the drink over before class.!Jeremy is waiting across the street from the school for the students to finish. He buys them an end of term drink when the examiner walks in to meet his wife. after accidentally squirting the examiner with a soda siphon, Jeremy apologises & offers to buy him a drink. The examiner tells him he's buying & pours the drink all over Jeremy's head.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 10

A POINT OF HONOUR


To prepare the class for an upcoming exam,Jeremy gives the class an oral exam. Danielle comes late,she says the woodwork teacher Mr Jarvis wouldn't let her go 'til she agreed to have dinner with him. Danielle had a bright idea, she told Mr Jarvis she was engaged to Jeremy.!Gladys (from the canteen) tells Miss Courtney about Danielle & Jeremy, Gladys later tells Jeremy that she thinks Miss Courtney fancies him.Jeremy tells Miss Courtney what Gladys told him & now Miss Courtney thinks Jeremy likes her.!Jeremy goes back to class & sees Mr Jarvis & Danielle in the corridor, Danielle tells Jarvis that Jeremy isn't frightened by him & Jarvis wants to meet Jeremy after class for a punch-up.!Back in class the lesson continues, when it's finished Mr Jarvis is waiting for Jeremy to fight until Miss Courtney intervenes.Jeremy tells Miss Courtney that Jarvis is forcing his attention on Danielle. So Miss Courtney arranges a boxing match after class next day.Giovanni & Max bet on Jeremy to win,but he's knocked to the canvas twice.! Giovanni & Max tie Jarvis' shoelaces together,he trips,knocks himself out & Jeremy catches him. Jeremy is declared the winner.!!Next day Jarvis is up to his old tricks,this time with Jamilla.Ali challenges him & names Jeremy as his substitute.!!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 9

HELLO SAILOR


Juan brings his new friend Boris, a Russian sailor to class with him. He asks Boris to wait in the canteen until after the lesson.Jeremy asks the class for words begining with the letters A, B, C etc. When Juan comes in late he apologises & takes his seat.Meanwhile Miss Courtney has found Boris & asks Gladys to tell Jeremy she wants to see him in the canteen.Juan & Jeremy go to the canteen to see Miss Courtney & Juan tells them Boris has fallen in love with a British girl & wants to stay in the U.K.Jeremy,Juan & Boris return to class & Jeremy introduces Boris to the students, telling them that Boris wants to defect to the west. Then he continues with the lesson until Gladys interupts to tell Jeremy that Miss Courtney wants to see him in her office.Jeremy is introduced to Captain Ivan Ivanovich. He tells Jeremy that Boris has to come back to the ship with him & return to Russia.After they leave the lesson continues again, until it's interupted by Capt. Ivanovich. Now he wants to defect & stay in England & marry Miss Courtney.!!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 8

BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST


Jeremy asks the class how they spent their weekend. Danielle says her new boyfriend was doing something naughty with her on the motorway and the police made him stop.! (he was speeding.!)Jeremy asks the others in turn & is interupted by Ali & Su Lee who announce they are getting married. The class congratulates them & Ali invites them all to the wedding.One week later,it's the day before the wedding. Gladys asks Miss Courtney if she's going, but she says no.Giovanni & Max invite the boys & the Groom to the Pub after class, Gladys tells Jeremy Miss Courtney wants to see him in her office. When Jeremy goes to see her she introduces him to Ali's wife.!Jeremy has a talk to Ali in Miss Courtney's ofice. He tells him he cannot have two wives. Ali says his religion says he can. Jeremy tells him English law forbids it.Ali tells him he & his wife have tried to have a baby for 4 years, and his religion states that if it's o.k. with the first wife,he can find a second wife.Jeremy tells Ali, he must tell Su Lee he can't marry her.Ali starts to tell her, but chickens out & Jeremy has to tell her Ali can't marry her. Su Lee says she doesn't want to marry Ali, she just felt sorry for him.! Ali meets his wife Rehana in the corridor outside & Jeremy tells the class the wedding is off.Ali & Rehana enter & give the good news,he's going to be a dad.!The class leave early to celebrate & Jeremy & Miss Courtney are left standing in the now empty classroom.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 7

THE CHEATING GAME


Miss Courtney tells Jeremy to prepare the class for their upcoming exam. Jeremy is not encouraged by their answers to his questions. He advises them to study the questions for a mock exam he is giving them after tea break.Giovanni & Max have a plan to pass the exam & make Jeremy happy with their progress, He's going to steal the answers.Jeremy meets Miss Courtney in the corridor and she tells him if the class doesn't pass she'll end the course at once.!Jeremy tells Gladys his problem, Gladys suggests he leave the answers on the desk where the students can find them.Jeremy leaves the answers on the desk & goes to the canteen,Giovanni & Max find the answers & copy them.Miss Courtney tells Jeremy she'll give the class the exam & he can wait outside. One by one the students ask for a toilet break & take their books with them.Miss Courtney collects the books to mark them & Jeremy gives her back the answer sheet. She realises that the answers are from last years test, suddenly Jeremy doesn't feel very well.!Next evening Miss Courtney tells Jeremy that the class answered every question & congratulates him. Jeremy told her he thought they were last years answers, she told him that she had asked them last years questions.!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 6

COME BACK ALL IS FORGIVEN


It's Jeremy's Birthday & the class greets him singing Happy Birthday to you. Then they give him their gifts one at a time.Danielle gives the gift only she could give, Max & the other boys each give Jeremy an identical pen. Then it's on with the lesson, Today it's Vowel sounds.Miss Courtney says she wants to see Jeremy in her office, She tells him that she has found a female teacher to replace him. She reminds him that he was on a months trial & could have been replaced at any time. Jeremy is very annoyed & leaves straight away. He breaks the news to the class & goes home.Miss Courtney takes over until Miss Hardacre can come in to finish the lesson. The class decides to adopt a policy of non co-operation. When Miss Hardacre arrives and attempts to call the roll, no one answers. Miss Courtney has a meeting with Miss Hardacre & realises that she may have made a big mistake. Miss Hardacre has a few things to say about how Miss Courtney is running the school.The class invite Jeremy to come see them the next evening & ask him to come back. Jeremy wants Miss Courtney to to ask him or he won't return. He meets Miss Courtney in the corridor & she tells him she's made a grave error & would he come back & take the class. Jeremy says yes, & she tells him he's on trial for a month.The class are happy to see Jeremy again & Max & the boys have exchanged the 4 identical pens, for 4 identical wallets.!!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 5

THE FIRST LESSON



Jeremy Brown arrives at his new job teaching English at a night school to a mixed race of Adult students.He meets the school principal Miss Courtney who tells him she wanted a Lady teacher because of the trouble she had with the last Male teacher. Jeremy assures her she has nothing to worry about, she gives him the job on a one month trial basis.Jeremy meets his new students & is getting to know them when Miss Courtney checks to see if there are any attractive women in the class to cause a distraction. When she is satisfied & thinks everything will be o.k. In walks Danielle the vivacious French Au Pair.Danielle sits right up front & Max & Giovanni want to sit next to her. Jeremy tells them to return to their seats & begins the first lesson.Jeremy is trying to teach the class about Verbs & asks them in turn to repeat what is written on the blackboard. Ali & Ranjeet are exchanging insults & before long the class erupts into one big argument. Jeremy leaves & Miss Courtney asks how the lesson was. Jeremy tells her everything is under control.



MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 4

THE BEST THING IN LIFE


Ali thinks he has won the football pools. He says he has eight score draws. Jeremy looks at his ticket & sees his eight score draws are not on the same line, so he hasn't won anything.!Jeremy has the class role playing real life situations, e.g. going to the Doctor, or going to the post office to post a letter or opening a bank account.Miss Courtney interupts the class to tell Jeremy that he's needed at the police station. Jamilla's been arrested for shoplifting.!Jeremy and Ali arrive at the police station & Ali talks to Jamilla to find out what happened. It seems Jamilla misunderstood 'free trial' and took the goods & left the store.Jeremy insists that the Sergeant look at his drivers licence & a five pound note falls out as the officer looks at the licence.Jeremy assures the Sergeant he wasn't trying to bribe him & donates the 'fiver' to the police charity collection box.The Sergeant lets Jamilla go,realising the misunderstanding and Jamilla takes Jeremy & Ali back to her place where she shows them a cupboard full of 'free trial' goods.Jeremy has Ali go back to the school to collect the class to help return the goods to the supermarket. Whilst in the market Jeremy meets Miss Courtney & accidentally knocks over a tower of canned food.Jeremy, Miss Courtney, & the class are at the police station when the supermarket manager didn't believe they were putting the goods back. The sergeant wants to write a report & asks Ali "what is your name"? Ali replies that watt is not his name & the whole class agrees. A very frustrated Sergeant tells Jeremy to get these crackpots out of here & they return to the school.Next day, a man comes looking for Jamilla. Seems she ordered a bicycle a month ago on a free trial & they haven't recieved payment yet, Jamilla comes riding up the corridor on the bicycle & Jeremy has to explain all over again about 'Free Trial'.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 3

ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT


Max & Giovanni meet Sid the Janitor in the cafeteria. Sid teaches them some cockney rhyming slang.Jeremy comes in with a bag full of groceries for that evenings lesson & they walk to the classroom together.Jeremy wants the class to identify the items he's holding up & then asks if everyone completed the homework he gave them the night before.When no one has completed it he tells them they'll have to finish it before he lets them go home.Sid is locking up the school for the night thinking everyone has gone home. He locks Jeremy's classroom door & then goes to the pub for a drink.When Jeremy realises they're locked in and asks if anybody will miss them & come looking for them the class says no. So to pass the time he suggests the students tell jokes, Juan tells a joke in spanish & no one understands.When Sid is leaving the pub,his friend Charlie sees the light on in the classroom & everyone waving. Sid has to get Miss Courtney out of bed to Investigate. After the students leave, Jeremy goes back for his groceries & He and Miss Courtney are locked in again.!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 2

A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH


Danielle needs help with her homework, she asks Max to help her when Giovanni walks into the room with the answers to the homework which he will sell to them for only 10p each.!Ali arrives late from his new job as a travelling salesman and proceeds to sell his wares (ties,socks,scarves,gloves etc.)in the classroom. Jeremy tells him to sell his merchandise in his own time.Ranjeet arrives late also with an explanation, He's getting married to Surinder to whom he was betrothed when he was 12 years old. The only problem is Surinder has changed since then and Ranjeet would rather die than marry her.!Surinder arrives and wants to see Ranjeet, Ranjeet hides and asksJeremy to tell her that he's not there. At tea break time the students sneak Ranjeet into the cafeteria, soon Surinder goes there too and thinks she sees her betrothed hiding behind the curtain. Ranjeet has left his shoes and climbed out of the window.He climbs back in through Miss Courtney's window and bumps into Surinder in the Hall.Jeremy tells Surinder that Ranjeet doesn't want to Marry her,Ranjeet tells Surinder that Jeremy will marry her !Next day Surinder's father arrives at the school looking for Jeremy, who pretends he's a student and leaves the room with Surinder's father chasing him.!<

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....nostalgicia 1

AN INSPECTOR CALLS :

Miss Courtney tells Jeremy to expect a new student from Africa.An Inspector from the board of education calls to see Miss Courtney & drops in on Jeremy's class without warning to observe how he gives the lesson. Jeremy welcomes the inspector Roger Kenyon into the class believing that he is the new African student Miss Courtney told him about.During a tea break Jeremy goes to see Miss Courtney & tells him there's an Inspector in the building. Jeremy tells her not to worry, He'll sort it out.Back in class Jeremy calls the attendance roll & tells the class what he thinks about Inspectors & their old fashioned ways.Mr Kenyon is listening to what Jeremy is saying, when Miss Courtney walks in to the room & sees Mr Kenyon sitting in the back row. She apologises to him for Jeremy's remarks & tells Jeremy that Mr Kenyon is the school inspector.Later when the Inspector's wife comes looking for him, Jeremy mistakes her for the new African student & makes another embarrasing mistake.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE

Remember our favourite TV series in the 80's ,'Mind Your Language'
Below is the episode .


Sid : Mr. Italy!
[Giovanni comes out with the ‘Mafia’ outfit]
Mr. Brown : Giovanni, are you representing Italy or the Mafia?
Giovanni : I’m representing Sicily.
Max’s was when he came for his first lesson with Mr. Brown.
Mr. Brown : Your name?
Max : Maximillian Andreas Archimedies Papandrious.
Mr. Brown : I think I’ll just out it down as Max.
[Mr. Brown writes that down]
Mr. Brown : Uh, I take it your Greek?
Max : He is right. From Affense.
Mr. Brown : And what is your job?
Max : Uh, I woke with sheeps.
Mr. Brown : You work with sheeps? A shepherd? You work on a farm?
Max : No, no. Not farm.
Mr. Brown : But you just said that you work with sheep.
Max : No, no, no, no. Sheeps. Big sheeps.
[Max makes the ship hoot]
Mr. Brown : Ahh, ships.
Max : Yes, sheeps. Tonkers.
Mr. Brown : Tonkers? Tankers!
Max : Right! I woke in office.
Mr. Brown : Thank you.
Juan’s part, was when Mr. Brown asks them to do an essay on what they did on the weekend.
Mr. Brown : How about you Juan? What did you do over the weekend?
Juan : Dilmendo.
Mr. Brown : Dilmendo?
[Juan makes an action of sleeping]
Mr. Brown : Ahh, sleeping. Aren’t you a Catholic?
Juan : Si, si. Roman Catholico.
Mr. Brown : Then why aren’t you at church?
Juan : The pope. He say, 6 days, you work. On the 7th day, you rest. I rest.
Ingrid’s, like Giovanni’s, was on the catwalk on ‘Queen for a Day’.
Sid : Ms. Sweden!
[Ingrid walks out]
Ingrid : [to Mr. Brown] Beautiful, yes?
Me. Brown : Beautiful very!
Ingrid : And the dress too?
Mr. Brown : Well, I was referring to that.
Zoltan’s act was a ‘Hungarian mogick’. It also include Ali and Ranjeet’s act in the concert as well.Ms. Courtney : Carry on, Mr. Brown.
Mr. Brown : And for our first act, Mr. Zoltan Szabo from Hungary!
Zoltan : Hugarian mogick one.
[He takes out a piece of Hungarian newspaper and shred it to pieces]
[He blows on the pieces he scrunched up in his palm and opens it, expecting to open a new piece of paper but only shredded newspaper were falling from his hands.]
Zoltan : Hungarian mogick 2
Ms. Courtney : That’s enough!
Zoltan : You don’t like Hungarian mogick?
Mr. Brown : Just sit down, Zoltan. Next we have Ali Nadim and Ranjeet Singh.
[While jiggling]
Ali :We all have a musical!
Ranjeet : I sing, I sing, I sing!
Ali : Why is a rhinoceros different from an elephant?
Ranjeet : Because none of them can ride a bicycle!
Ali : We have a musical!
Ranjeet : I sing, I sing, I sing!
Ms. Courtney : Stop!
Ali : Why? You no like us?
Ranjeet : A thousand apologies!
That was hilarious.
The best class-episode was once, when Mr. Brown asked them to make a sentence.
Mr Brown : Well, there are eight parts in a sentence. Can anyone tell me what it is?
[Lots of hands shoot up]
Mr. Brown : Ingrid?
Ingrid : Noun
Mr. Brown : Yes. Excellent. Danielle?
Danielle : Pro-noun.
Mr. Brown : Yes. Very good!
Danielle : Hey, why am I very good and she’s excellante?
Mr. Brown : Alright. You’re both excellent.
[and so on until Anna]
Anna : Conjunction
Mr. Brown : What is the eighth part? Come doesn’t anyone know? An interjection. Does anyone know what an interjection is?
Juan : Needle.
Mr. Brown : Pardon?
[Juan makes an imitation of a doctor doing an injection and points at it]
Juan : Interjection
Mr. Brown : No, Juan. Thats an injection.
Juan : Its soright.
Mr. Brown : Alright Ranjeet, give me a pro-noun.
Ranjeet : Indian.
Mr. Brown : Indian? Well, surely you could have thought of something else?
Ranjeet : Well, I cannot say Muslim.
Ali : Why you stupid brown chappati!
Mr. Brown : That’ll be enough, both of you! Now Ranjeet, you are here to learn English, not start a holy war.
Ranjeet : A waiter.
Mr. Brown : Yes, Ranjeet, a waiter. And Max, give me an adjective. Come on, something that describes this waiter.
Max : Khow do I know? I’ve never met this waiter.
Mr. Brown : No, Max. He is not an actual waiter!
Max : Oh, he is a part-time waiter.
Mr. Brown : No, Max. He is an imaginary waiter.
Max : Hokay. He is an hold waiter.
Mr. Brown : Good. An old waiter.
Max : With a mustache.
Mr. Brown : Just old will do , Max. Danielle. What was the waiter doing?
Danielle : The old waiter, was making love.
Mr. Brown : Come on, Danielle. Can’t you think of something better then making love?
Danielle : But I can’t zink nozing better zhen making love.
Mr. Brown : How about something more appropriate to a waiter?
Danielle : Vhwallah! He served.
Mr. Brown : The old waiter served. Taro, what did he do.
Taro : Aso.
[bows]
Taro : The old waiter, served carefullio.
Mr. Brown : Very good, Taro. The old waiter carefully served…Giovanni!
Giovanni : The old waiter, carefully served, fish and chips.
Mr. Brown : Two more nouns and a conjunction.
Giovanni : Okie cocky. The old waiter, carefully served, two more nouns an d a conjunction.
Mr. Brown : No, Giovanni!


( I hope you enjoy it )

PETISYEN RAKYAT

The Petition to His Majesty The Yang DiPertuan Agung
September 30th, 2007


_________________________________
Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah dan Maha Mengasihani,
Menghadap ke majlis Seri Paduka Baginda,
Alwathiqubillah Sultan Mizan Zainal Abidin ibni Almarhum Sultan Mahmud Almuktafi Billah Shah, yang bersemayam di atas takhta Kerajaan Malaysia dengan penuh daulat dan kebesarannya serta didoakan senantiasa baginda berada dalam perlindungan Allah yang Mahakuasa dengan dianugerahkan bertambah-tambah lagi kemuliaan serta darjat jua adanya: Amiin Ya Rabbuljaliil.
Ampun Tuanku,
Patik merafak sembah memohon limpah perkenan Tuanku semoga mempersudikan menerima dan menimbangkan warkah rayuan yakni petition yang tak sepertinya ini yang dipersembahkan bagi pihak rakyat Tuanku yang peka terhadap kejadian dan keadaan masyarakat yang kian meruncing dan membimbangkan. Patik sekalian mengharapkan perkenan pertimbangan Tuanku yang penuh ihsan dan bijaksana jua demi memelihara dan mengekalkan kesejahteraan , kebajikan dan kebahagiaan rakyat yang taat setia kepada Tuanku.
Ampun Tuanku,
Berikut adalah tajuk dan rayuan yang amat tulus bagi perkenan tatapan Tuanku:
RAYUAN RAKYAT SERI PADUKA BAGINDA TUANKU UNTUK MENGAMBIL LANGKAH MEMULIHKAN SISTEM KEHAKIMAN
Pada 19/9/2007 negara dikejutkan oleh satu lagi skandal, kali ini berupa satu klip video yang mendedahkan apa yang nampaknya seperti satu perbualan telefon di antara peguam kanan VK Lingam dan seorang lagi, yang dikatakan mengatur pelantikan hakim-hakim kanan yang ‘mesra’.
Penelitian terhadap monolog tersebut jelas menunjukkan bahawa perbualan telefon tersebut ternyata adalah di antara VK Lingam dan Ketua Hakim Negara, Tun Ahmad Fairuz Sheikh Abdul Halim dan perbualan itu berkaitan perlantikan dan kenaikan pangkat para hakim. Beberapa hakim yang lain turut dinamakan dalam perbualan tersebut.
Sejurus selepas klip video tersebut didedahkan, Tun Ahmad Fairuz mengatakan bahawa dia hanya akan membuat kenyataan setelah melihat klip tersebut, tetapi respon yang diterima selepas itu berbentuk kenyataan ‘no comment’ dan itu pun setelah satu jangkawaktu yang lama melalui pihak ketiga yang sebenarnya tidak menafikan perbualan tersebut. Ini menimbulkan satu perasaan di kalangan rakyat bahawa Tun Ahmad Fairuz tidak menjawab persoalan ini dengan tulus ikhlas.
Skandal ini kini menimbulkan kesangsian yang mendalam terhadap kesesuaian Tun Ahmad Fairuz untuk mengetuai badan kehakiman, dan kesesuaian pelantikan serta kenaikan pangkat beberapa Hakim Mahkamah Tinggi, Mahkamah Rayuan and Mahkamah Persekutuan yang telah dibuat berdasarkan cadangan dan syor asal daripada Tun Ahmad Fairuz.
Patik serta rakyat negara ini, kini langsung tidak mempunyai sebarang keyakinan terhadap badan kehakiman.
Patik sekalian berserta ramai jua rakyat negara ini telah lama sedar bahawa sepanjang Tun Ahmad Fairuz memegang jawatannya, beberapa orang Hakim yang berpangkat lebih rendah telah dinaikkan pangkat sementara beberapa orang Hakim yang lebih kanan sering diketepikan dalam proses kenaikan pangkat.
Patik serta rakyat negara ini juga mendapat tahu, melalui berita blog tidak rasmi, bahawa Duli-duli Yang Maha Mulia dalam Persidangan Majlis Raja-raja telah pun menolak dua pencalonan yang dibuat oleh Tun Fairuz bagi jawatan Presiden Mahkamah Rayuan dan Ketua Hakim Malaya walaupun jawatan-jawatan tersebut telah lama kosong. Khabar angin mengatakan bahawa nama-nama yang dicalonkan Tun Fairuz itu berpangkat rendah berbanding dengan Hakim-hakim lain yang telah lama berkhidmat.
Patik serta rakyat negara ini, juga mendapat tahu melalui laporan akhbar bahawa terdapat sekurang-kurangnya seorang Hakim, yang telah dinaikkan pangkat sebagai Hakim Mahkamah Persekutuan, yang telah gagal menyediakan keputusan mahkamah secara bertulis bagi sekurang-kurangnya 35 kes. Ini mengakibatkan banyak kes-kes rayuan yang difailkan oleh tahanan dan banduan yang telah disabitkan kesalahan dan dipenjarakan tidak dapat diadili atau diulangbicara seterusnya.
Skandal terbaru ini juga menimbulkan keprihatinan yang serius terhadap penukaran yang telah dibuat secara mendadak terhadap Hakim yang mendengar perbicaraan satu kes bunuh yang masih berjalan di Shah Alam.
Patik serta sebahagian rakyat negara ini, juga amat bimbang terhadap keputusan Mahkamah berkenaan beberapa kes berprofil tinggi dan samada keputusan-keputusan ini telah ‘diatur’ oleh Tun Ahmad Fairuz, dan jika benar ianya telah berlaku, apakah implikasinya terhadap Hakim-hakim lain di Mahkamah-mahkamah Tinggi khasnya.
Tindak-balas Perdana Menteri, beberapa ahli Kabinet yang lain serta Peguam Negara terhadap isu klip video ini langsung tidak memberikan patik sekalian sebagai rakyat Malaysia, keyakinan bahawa skandal ini akan disiasat dengan adil dan telus sehinggakan mungkin kita tidak akan tahu apa yang sebenarnya berlaku.
Patik sekalian jua tidak percaya bahawa Perdana Menteri dan Kabinetnya benar-benar berpegang kepada usaha untuk menyiasat skandal ini, dan andainya dibuktikan sahih, samada mereka akan mengambil segala langkah yang patut dan perlu untuk mengembalikan badan kehakiman kepada statusnya sebagai institusi perlembagaan yang didirikan untuk mempertahankan secara bebas Perlembagaan, hak rakyat dan juga menegakkan sistem undang-undang.
Timbalan Perdana Menteri kita telah mengumumkan pada 26/9/2007 bahawa satu Panel yang terdiri dari 3 orang akan menyiasat skandal ini, yang mana ketua Panel tersebut terlibat dalam pemecatan Tun Salleh Abas pada tahun 1988. Ini hanya mengukuhkan pendapat patik sekalian bahawa Kerajaan Malaysia ingin memastikan bahawa hal sebenar berkenaan skandal ini langsung tidak akan diketahui.
Patik-patik sebagai rakyat Malaysia, amat bimbang sekiranya penyiasatan skandal ini dibiarkan disiasat oleh pentadbiran Perdana Menteri, pihak Polis atau pun Badan Pencegah Rasuah, maka rakyat kelak akan hanya menyaksikan satu lagi penutupan kes di mana rakyat tidak akan ada jalan untuk menuntut keadilan dan akan sentiasa curiga samaada badan kehakiman akan melindungi rakyat atau pun kepentingan beberapa pihak tertentu sahaja.
Skandal terbaharu ini menimbulkan kebimbangan samaada penyelewengan yang selama ini begitu berleluasa pada peringkat pentadbiran negara ini kini telah menyusur masuk ke dalam bidang kehakiman.
Atas sebab-sebab yang diperihalkan di paragraph-paragraf sebelum ini, patik bagi pihak sejumlah dari rakyat Malaysia, menyembahkan rayuan ini ke majlis Seri Paduka Baginda Tuanku agar Tuanku berkenan apalah kiranya menggunakan segala kuasa yang terletak hak pada Tuanku untuk:
1. Menitahkan pembentukan sebuah Suruhanjaya Penyiasat di bawah Akta Suruhanjaya Penyiasat (Commission of Enquiry Act) 1950, untuk menyiasat, mempertimbangkan dan/atau menentukan samaada perbualan di dalam klip video tersebut benar-benar berlaku di antara VK Lingam dan Tun Ahmad Fairuz dan kesahihan kenyataan-kenyataan yang dibuat oleh VK Lingam di dalam klip video tersebut. Sekiranya terbukti benar berlaku, Suruhanjaya tersebut diberikan mandat tambahan untuk menyiasat, mempertimbangkan dan/atau menentukan:
1.1. penglibatan setiap individu yang dinamakan di dalam klip video tersebut berkenaan perlantikan dan kenaikan pangkat para Hakim;
1.2 kes-kes yang melibatkan VK Lingam yang telah dibicarakan di hadapan Tun Ahmad Fairuz dan/atau mana- mana Hakim lain yang dinamakan di dalam klip video tersebut;
1.3 segala tindakan yang dilaksanakan oleh Tun Ahmad Fairuz sepanjang jawatannya sebagai Ketua Hakim Malaya, Presiden Mahkamah Rayuan dan Ketua Hakim Negara, khususnya
1.3.1 dasar perlantikan dan/atau kenaikan pangkat para Hakim oleh Tun Ahmad Fairuz terutamanya hakim-hakim yang dinamakan di dalam klip tersebut;
1.3.2 cara bagaimana ahli-ahli panel Mahkamah Rayuan dan Mahkamah Persekutuan telah dipilih oleh Tun Ahmad Fairuz sepanjang jawatannya sebagai Presiden Presiden Mahkamah Rayuan dan Ketua Hakim Negara; dan
1.3.3 cara bagaimana fail-fail diagihkan kepada panel-panel Mahkamah Rayuan dan Mahkamah Persekutuan oleh Tun Ahmad Fairuz sepanjang jawatannya sebagai Presiden Presiden Mahkamah Rayuan dan Ketua Hakim Negara.
2. Menitahkan agar Suruhanjaya Penyiasat, setelah menentukan samaada perbualan di dalam klip video tersebut benar-benar berlaku di antara VK Lingam dan Tun Ahmad Fairuz dan menentukan kesahihan kenyataan-kenyataan yang dibuat oleh VK Lingam di dalam klip video tersebut terbukti benar, untuk:
2.1 mengarahkan Perdana Menteri mengambil segala langkah-langkah yang patut dan perlu untuk melantik satu Tribunal di bawah Artikel 125 Perlembagaan Persekutuan untuk memecat Tun Ahmad Fairuz dan/atau mana-mana Hakim yang didapati Suruhanjaya sebagai terlibat, samaada secara langsung atau tidak langsung, di dalam salah laku Tun Ahmad Fairuz; dan
2.2 mengarahkan Perdana Menteri mengambil segala langkah-langkah yang patut dan perlu untuk menggantung Tun Ahmad Fairuz dan/atau mana-mana Hakim yang didapati Suruhanjaya sebagai terlibat, samaada secara langsung atau tidak langsung, di dalam salah laku Tun Ahmad Fairuz, sementara menunggu rujukan kepada dan/atau laporan Tribunal tersebut.
3. Menitahkan penubuhan segera satu Suruhanjaya bebas bagi perlantikan dan kenaikan pangkat Hakim-hakim Mahkamah Tinggi, Mahkamah Rayuan and Mahkamah Persekutuan.
Akhirul-kalam, patik sekali lagi merafak sembah memohon berbanyak kemaafan sekiranya rayuan atawa petition yang tak sepertinya ini menyentuh kalbu Tuanku secara yang tidak menyenangkan, lantaran berlakunya ucapan atawa tulisan bahasa yang terkasar atawa sebarang adab-sopan yang tercacat. Namun yakinilah Tuanku bahawa yang demikian itu bukan disengajakan dan maksud patik hanyalah untuk merayu kepada Tuanku untuk mencampuri urusan yang diperihalkan dalam warkatul-ikhlas ini memandangkan kesemua pintu telah tertutup dan segala laluan untuk menyelesaikan masalah telah terputus.
Sekian tamatnya sembah patik.
Ampun Tuanku dan Daulat Tuanku!
Patik Yang Taat Setia.

Friday, October 5, 2007

TAK KAN SOKMO NAK JADI BODOH

Setiap kali masuk Ramadhan dan Raya , pastinya harga barang naik . Harga melambung dan permintaan kita juga melambung . Kita tak ambil kisah langsung . Kita tak kisah dok kena tipu siang dan malam . Sebutkan dari sudut mana pun , pastinya kita kena tipu. Peniaga tipu kita , saham tipu kita . Barang yang tak reti Melayu pun tipu kita : barang tipu . Orang politik tipu kita. Makanan tipu kita ; dengan banyak gulanya , lemaknya , chelesterolnya dengan ajinomotonya . Dan pelbagai lagi .
Ayam yang kita beli juga tipu kita . Ayam yang diternak dalam jangka masa 30 hari diberi antibiotik lalu dijual sebelum matangnya 35-40 hari . Kemana perginya antibiotik itu yang belum diserap oleh badan ayam itu ? Kita tak pernah tanya tentang hormone atau enzime yang ada pada ayam . Kita tak tau kandungan antibiotik yang selamat . Kita tak ambil kisah langsung . Kalau macam tu macam mana nak boikot ayam ?
Kita juga ditipu oleh ikan yang setiap hari kita makan .Kita tak tahu bahan apa yang ikan itu di awet . Bagaimana kalau depa guna faormalin ? Tak pernah kita tanya . Selepas tsunami 2004 kita banyak tak beli ikan , kerana takut ikan makan mayat manusia . Pandai pula teka-teka tu no !
Ada orang pikiaq : kalau dok tanya-tanya sangat , apa yang kita nak makan ? Banyak lagi makanan yang Allah buat , makan yang tak kena tanya .
Nabi s.a.w pernah bersabda ,maksudnya : Penyakit itu datang dari perut.
Tak caya ke ?

DEMONSTRASI RAMADHAN

Dalam bulan mulia ni ada 3 demonstrasi yang masih terlekat di kepala ku . Satu di Batu Buruk,Terangganu.Kedua di Burma, yang terletak tak jauh dari negera kita . Dan ketiganya di Putrajaya , oleh orang cerdik pandai dalam kehakiman negara . Semuanya menzahirkan kezaliman yang entah banyak orang kita tak sedar . Mengapa begitu jadinya . Selain itu anak-anak kecil pula dizalimi . Apakah negara kita juga dah jadi tak senonoh . Dah lah di istihar negara Islam dan sekaligus pula menobatkan Islam Hadhari , begitu pula jadinya . Nampak macam negara kita jadi tak selamat . Dalam musim cuti raya ni pula akan terdengar nanti macam-macam kisah ,sepertimana pernah tercatat dalam kes2 polis .
Aku merenung kembali hidupku di masa dulu . Aku dulu bebas merayau-rayau dalam hutan ,tapi walaupun ada banyak musuh di sana , mereka tidak mengganggu-gugat aku . Ada rimau,ada ular dan berbagai binatang berbisa , tapi aku selamat . Binatang2 itu adalah lebih 'kemanusiaan' . Tapi yang peliknya ,kita jadi tak selamat bila berada sesama manusia yang hilang kemanusiaan . Bila membaca nukilan sahabatku dari kotasetar.blogspot.com berkenaan dengan gajah2 di Cheangmai , entah , hatiku berasa sejuk . Terasa macam berada dalam satu utopia .
Setiap pagi aku merenung keluar jendela rumah ku , ku dapat melihat anak2 tupai meloncat dari satu dahan ke dahan yang lain . Bebas dalam demokrasi mereka .
Entahlah , entahlah . Bukan kah ini bumi kita ?

Thursday, October 4, 2007

SALAM AIDILFITRI 1428/2007

KEPADA SEMUA PELAWAT KE BLOG NGINAPSRENGENGE PAK CHA DAN MAK WAN UCAPKAN SELAMAT HARI RAYA , MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.

I HOPE TO KEEP MY SITE FULL OF FUNS , CLEAN AND REAL.

SEMOGA KITA SEMUA DIBERIKAN ALLAH KECINTAAN & KASIH-SAYANGNYA SEMAKSIMA MUNGKIN......AMIN

PAK CHA & MAK WAN
EMAIL : matisaa_02@yahoo.com

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

WE FORGET MANY,MANY THINGS........WE WASTED A LOT MORE

Subject: Ten things we waste!

1. Our Knowledge :
Wasted by not taking action with it.

2. Our Actions:
Wasted by committing them without sincerity.

3. Our Wealth:
Wasted by using on things that will not bring us ajr (reward from Allah).We waste our money, our status, our authority, on things which have nobenefit in this life or in the akhirah (hereafter).

4. Our Hearts:
Wasted because they are empty from the love of Allah (swt) and hisMessenger (sallallahu 'alahi wasallam), and a feeling of peace and contentment. In it's place, our hearts are filled with something or someone else.

5. Our Bodies:
Wasted because we don't use them in ibadah (worship) and service of Allah.

6. Our Love:
Our emotional love is misdirected, not towards Allah, but towards something/someone else.

7. Our Time:
Wasted, not used properly, to compensate for that which has passed, bydoing what is righteous to make up for past deeds.

8. Our Intellect:
Wasted on things that are not beneficial, that are detrimental to society and the individual, not in contemplation or reflection.

9. Our Service:
Wasted in service of someone who will not bring us closer to Allah,moreover something that will benefit us in duniya.

10. Our Dhikr (Remembrence of Allah):
Wasted, because it does not effect us or our hearts.


IF WE DO WASTE , THEN SYAITANS ARE OUR COMPANIONS.

THEN,BEFORE THEN..........

THEN , BEFORE THEN…………….

Those were the days , a very long time ago , which I remember vividly and almost forgotten , if not for the sake of this NINGAP SRENGENGE blog it will not be written but will be buried with me when my day of death comes . Birthdays and deathdays are surrounded fences controlling everything that has lives. Every living specis has its own birthday ,so is its own death ( deathday ). Quite many people don’t understand death . Some are scared about death . Some are not well-informed about it . But when you study about death you will be better understood. I have the privilege to study it from my guru ( religious guru ) , and now I understand better . When we encounter death we will have the opportunity to meet God ( we muslims call Him ,Allah ) . In this world if we have the opportunity to meet the Sultans , the Prime-Ministers or any VVIP’s ,we would have a greatest joy . But what if we can meet our God ( Allah ) ?. I will talk about it later in other articles . I want to concerntrate with THEN , BEFORE THEN…..

What about THEN ? What was BEFORE THEN ? I was then a small boy ,being brought from the very rural area to a town life to study English . I didn’t know who the human figure who selected me among so many children in the Malay School . I got through the selection committee and passed the written exams in Malay , IQ , Arithmatics , Gardening , Reading , Writing and Spelling Tests. How I did it , I didn’t know till today . I never read books , there were no books . We used slate in school . We wrote on it and rubbed it off after reading .The knowledge were accumulated in the brain . That is what I know . We learned not to forget . We also did art on the slate, then the pictures we drew were also rubbed-off . It is indeed shocking if we compare with modern education ,when children of standard one carries books double their weight .

My headteacher of the Malay School took me to my new school , where the medium of instruction was English . I knew not a word of English . I knew nothing about living in school with Chinese and Indians students .There were Sikhs too , whom I felt scared because someone told me they eat testicles . What a joke .I could laugh and laugh , when I grew older . Gurkhas also existed in that school of mine . There was a gurkha camp just right behind my school . They were great warriors employed by the British then. Their bravery greatly impressed me . They were experts in the jungle . I desired to challenge them because I was quiet an experts with the jungles . As I wrote in me previous posts , I was more or less on par with “Kunta-Kinte” .

In school I was quiet a famous figure . I too didn’t know what made me so . Everybody called me Pak Hitam . Teachers and Headmaster too called me by the name Pak Hitam . Alas ! only then when I left school ,I knew that some of my friends didn’t know my real name. Indian friends also called me Pak Hitam. To them I always asked them , “ Who is blacker ? You or me ? “ . I was naughty and mischievious , then . But I was not caught for being naughty and mischievious . I knew that I should be clever . To all friends and teachers ,I was an innocent boy . All my secret s were kept between me alone. I didn’t want to destroy my personality . Very cunning ,wasn’t it . I was more cunning . The pelanduk which was known for its cunningness , is no challenge to me .Because I could then catched them alives . Near my house there was a big jungle , and it was in that jungle that I have bullied those cunning pelandoks . I caught guiet a many for food . With my bare-hands . Sometimes I used traps and sometimes I caught with bare-hands , just by making a special sound with my palms drumming the ground . The pelandok will come dancing not knowing that I was just hiding behind a thick bush .President Bush also cannot compete me …ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,.

I now will reveal one very interesting story . We being boarders were not allowed to go out unnecessarily . Only once a week , on Saturdays 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Who the hell can remain in school that long . I was free to go anywhere at home . I even went into jungle alone . My father and mother never questioned me . I was free as a bird can fly . Then in school , it was like Abu Gharrib . I cannot stand being controlled in that small school compound . I had and idea to release my tension . But that idea should not be known to anybody . Not anybody, I was clever . I was not caught even though I broke the rules every week . My friends were caught every now and then. When I felt like going out to town , I would first of all stole the bike of the canteen-man ,Ah Tat. It was a big bike , with a big basket attached to the carrier behind the seat . The school then had no gate , so my mission was made possibled . I would cycled down the road to town not being recognized by anybody . I just wore trousers , my body bare without a shirt or singlet . I wrapped my head with a loin-cloth. I cycled down jolly down the lanes of the town . a free ride of course . I returned after I had had my fulfillments . On certain occassins I would be overjoyed being able to peep couples romancing in the dark at the town garden. A very clever boy .

Well only that story by now . There are many more .

It was then , before then……..